How to Help Your Teen Build Confidence and Take Action
When was a time when what you wanted was bigger than your current circumstances?
You wanted to be healthier, but the scale made it seem impossible.
You wanted a new job, but you were working too much to look for a new one.
You wanted to start a business, but didn’t know what to sell.
You wanted a relationship, but had been burned before.
You wanted to move to a new city, but your bank account said you couldn’t afford it.
It doesn’t matter what you want. What matters is your willingness to do something different so you can get it.
No one else will ever want our dreams as much as we do. So it’s up to us to declare them and make them real.
A Lesson From My Own Life
When I was 17, bored out of my mind in Algebra II, I decided I was going to Hawaii.
Sounds simple enough, but it was a really far-fetched idea.
I had never planned a trip before, had no money, and technically there was no way my parents would’ve let their teenage daughter get on a plane to go out of state for a week.
But I made it happen.
I went from being a high school senior who’d never had more than $20 to someone who earned $1,000 to cover the cost of the trip, persuaded her parents to let her go, and learned how to plan a vacation from scratch.
Pursuing what you want isn’t easy. You’re going after something that you’ve never had before. It requires thought, intention and many out-of-your-comfort-zone action steps.
My desire to get to Hawaii was greater than any of the discomfort of figuring out the unknowns or taking big action steps.
Inadvertently, I became the type of person who, even when my circumstances didn’t reflect that what I wanted was possible, I could figure out a way to make it happen.
Why This Matters for Parents of Teens
As adults, pursuing dreams can feel a lot more risky. It’s easy to forget what it feels like to chase the unknown.
We’ve learned from experience and too many “no’s” not to even bother trying. We have bills to pay and mouths to feed.
Your teen is at the very beginning stages of adulthood. They want their independence, they’re craving life direction, and beginning to look at options and test what they’re capable of.
What they need most isn’t a perfectly laid-out plan. It’s permission to believe something bigger is possible.
Helping your teen identify their natural strengths and how they’re aligned with their interests is a powerful, foundational step to helping them determine their next right step. This is how they start becoming the kind of person who says, “I can figure this out.”
Try This at Home
If you’re wondering how to help your teen build confidence, try these four reflection questions. Ask them,
What’s something you really want to do or experience?
What makes it hard to take the first step?
What is it about this that matters to you?
What’s one action step you could take today to make it happen?
Then, if you see them taking that first action step, celebrate it. This isn’t about knowing how it ends, it’s acknowledging that they started.
When your teen takes initiative, they’re building confidence.
Final Thought
Whatever your teen wants (or whatever you want), the process is the same:
Just start.
When I wanted to go to Hawaii, because Google didn’t exist yet, my first step was calling a travel agent to find out how much a plane ticket cost.
That small, brave step turned an idea into momentum then into reality.
You and your teen are bigger than your circumstances. You can make big things happen.
You just have to be willing to become the person who makes it so.
About Anna
Anna Nelson is a Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach and ICF-Certified Coach who helps teens and parents make confident, intentional decisions about college, career, and life. Learn more about her Strengths-Based Pre-College Prep Program or book a free strategy session to talk about your teen’s next step.