One of the, many, hard things about divorce is that you can feel like you're a nobody because you're no longer married to someone. We want to be seen, heard and understood and when the built-in relationship of marriage where we *should've* been seen, heard and understood is taken away, it's easy to think that without somebody "noticing" we're nobody.
A relationship is supposed to enhance our lives, it's not supposed to determine the value of our life.
There are many lies to combat when coming out of a destructive relationship. Recognizing the lie that you're less than because of the change in your relationship status is one of them.
You as an individual matter. You have value and worth.
We live in a society that idolizes marriage, especially in Christian circles. When you’re single, people don't know what to do with you. When you're divorced, they really don't know what to do with you.
Just because you are going from, or went from, a twosome to a onesome doesn't mean that you have any less worth, value, purpose, or meaning in your life. The very fact that you’re a human and you're alive means that you make a difference in other people's lives.
When we've been betrayed, when our marriages end, it's hard. It's the ultimate breakup. People who aren’t divorced don't understand how hard the “breakup” is, especially if there's been emotional, sexual or physical abuse in the marriage. People who haven’t experienced that have no idea what goes on.
You are somebody. You matter. If you need encouragement in your life, I challenge you to go and encourage someone else.
If you’re not divorced, but you know someone who is, I encourage you to call her and ask her out for coffee or dinner. Even if it's to your house for leftovers on a Tuesday night with your family, she won't care. Invite her to the movies. If you're going skiing or on a trip and you think, “Hey, it might be fun to have that single mom and her two kids come along”, call her. That invitation is a game changer in someone’s life.
We all want to be seen, heard and understood. Sometimes it starts with us seeing someone else.
Don’t let your ex and the lies he told you keep rattling around your brain. Get rid of those lies. See a professional if you're having a hard time with it.
You're a somebody who's beautiful, talented, full of life and love. The world is a better place because you're in it.